Do you find that your life’s journey and lessons may have a parallel to when you were learning to ride a bike?
When we fell off the bike we got up and got back on again.
Like life when we have a setback, we once again take stock, sometimes midstride, then get up and move on. Looking back if we have paid attention and learnt our lesson we will not falter again in a similar situation. Often the fall was not as bad as we thought a few scratches and bruises here and there but we did it, we survived.
Learning to ride that bike although you felt unsteady at first you concentrated on how you took corners, your speed and avoiding obstacles or people by being alert and applying the brakes when needed. Then once you mastered the riding of the bike you enjoyed that sense of accomplishment and exhilaration at achieving your goal.
Do you apply these skills to your life as well? Preparing a contingency plan for the unexpected, applying the brakes when needed, then validating you with a pat on the back when the intended outcome is achieved. As only you know internally how you felt when you finally mastered riding that bike.
Maybe along your journey you also helped someone by offering a lift on your handlebars as they were in need of your kindness and inspiration.
The old saying that, “once you learn to ride a bike you never forget” can be converted to, “once you find that balance in life things fall into place.”
Today, Tuesday January 28th is my beautiful daughter Tamara’s anniversary of her death 27 years ago. Seems like just yesterday I held her lifeless body and I can still recall all that happened during the year leading to her death.
However, life moves on and this time last week I was busy and happily shopping for decorations for my youngest daughter’s upcoming engagement party. I knew deep down in the core of my being, my cellular memory, would be recalling all the events leading up to Tamara’s death but I strive to live in the present as I know I can not change the past.
The distraction of shopping and thinking of creative ideas for the engagement party was a good challenge. The person I presented to the public was one of a happy and excited Mum, I truly am. (Those who have known grief may refer to this as the mask we wear at times.)
My point is that as much as I miss and would so love to have had the privilege of preparing Tamara’s wedding, I accepted a long time ago that I never would see her grow into a woman, marry, have children or a career or follow her dreams.
So I feel extremely fortunate to be able to experience this upcoming wedding of my youngest by sharing in the joy and excitement she is experiencing right now.
This is her time and she will have my attention and unconditional love and support whenever I can be of assistance.
Tamara is with us in spirit, celebrating with us and wishing nothing but the very best for her little sister.
Today although I grieve and honour Tamara I will also celebrate the gift of her life. I know I will express that aching emptiness in my heart through my gut wrenching tears for her loss and unnecessary suffering of several months. Mingled with this sadness is the joy that I was blessed with my Tamara for those short eight years and was able to create memories.
(Memories that many other grieving parents never have a chance to experience.)
The world around you continues on after you have lost a loved one and only you can chose how you move with the flow. I trust I have moved forward and will continue to do so in honour of Tamara by reaching out to help others.
Life moulds us through our experiences of great sadness and extreme joy.
Where you able to sustain that balanced centre and mindset or did all your well-meaning efforts just dissolve as the hours and days pressed on.
Feedback from clients who used their personal mix of Bach remedies was that they felt supported and better able to cope with the many emotions that confronted them.
One client in particular found that when she felt anxious or needed to retain calm she popped a Rescue pastille in her mouth and carried on. Her child also benefited from the pastilles when becoming overwhelmed with excitement of all the visitors. Combining the remedies with the quick fix technique I had shown her in a counselling session she felt she handled her meeting of new and old relationships quite well.
Whether the relationship be husband and wife, son and daughter, in-law or out-law, for some it is often a continual battle to maintain equilibrium. One day all are getting on so well and it seems all is in order. However, within a moment a miscommunication or a remark taken out of context, all unravels and emotions of distress and uncertainty surface.
Someone may have ignited unknowingly an old wound/belief or openly mentioned something that was considered private by the other involved.
Holistic counselling is very helpful at removing those toxic wounds or remarks from your mind and body. Released through simple and practical steps enabling you to move forward with peace of mind and regain that balanced centre within and confidence in your daily relationships.
“Old beliefs need to be released in order to give love a space to grow.” by Louise L. Hay.
Its time for the festivities to begin!
Along with the joy of these celebrations it is not unusual for you to feel overwhelmed by all the organising, shopping, exhausted from the big year just past, impatient and irritated by the thought of shopping, balancing finances after buying presents for loved ones and just generally stressed out!
Of course Rescue Remedy to the rescue but here are some other specific remedies you may find helpful.
Beech – Everyone is getting on your nerves and you become critical and intolerant.
Elm– For when you feel as though everything is getting on top of you, there is so much to do. You are feeling overwhelmed, unable to cope with everything you have to do you may have taken on too many responsibilities.
Gentian – For setbacks, you planned to have a great Christmas but things keep going wrong, problems keep cropping up and you feel let down. Gentian is for doubt and despondency. You are easily discouraged and depressed when things go wrong or when faced with difficulties. This depression is always from an identifiable cause, you may in fact be making good progress but are easily disheartened by small setbacks.
Mimulus – For when you fear the vibe of family get togethers. You hate the tension in the air and are scared at the thought of what is going to eventuate this year!
Olive – Mental and physical exhaustion –strength and energy have run out. Olive is for when you feel exhausted in body and mind. As a result of being over tired the body may be functioning below par.
Tip: Add some Rescue Remedy to the Christmas Punch, Champagne Cocktails to help keep all guests calmer!